"i thought the time was passed when i could
find beauty in a birds
i set the stage and the scenery
rehearsing every word
yeah but when i tried to make it more
well it was always less
and it's a thin line between pleasing yourself
and pleasing somebody else
with my confidence on fire
i set to fixin' up my roles
my separation of desires
just left me deeper down in the hole
yeah when i tried to make it more
well it was always less
and it's a thin line between pleasing yourself
and pleasing somebody else
yeah and when i tried to make it more
well it was always less
it's a thin line between pleasing yourself
and pleasing somebody else
now i'm tryin to get back
to what i know that i should be
hoping to God that i was just
a temporary absentee
yeah when i tried to make it more
well it was always less
it's a thin line between pleasing yourself
and pleasing somebody else
yeah when i tried to make it more
well it was always less
and it's a thin line between pleasing yourself
and pleasing somebody else"
The lyrics that Amy Ray and Emily Sailers write always seem to know how my heart is feeling and where my mind is.
This song seems to speak to me at this point in my life. I realized that I've never really been alone in my life. I'm not talking about being lonely, but about being ok with not being in a relationship or with a significant other. It's weird to think that. Since I can remember I've never really been alone or for that matter, I've never been ok with wanting to be alone. I've never thought of myself as being co-dependent but maybe I am. Maybe I need someone always by me. That's not a good thing. I need to be ok with being alone before I can really give myself 100% into a lasting relationship. As time has passed I've always relied or counted on the woman I was dating. It was always so easy to get into a relationship and make it feel comfy and natural. But there always seemed to be something missing. And now I want to find out what that 'something' is. I have to continue to tell myself every day that it's ok to be by myself. It's ok not to have someone to call or have someone to come home to. This path is a good one. The sun is shining through the clouds. And I can finally start to feel the warmth on my soul.
